Okay, now that’s just disgusting

Progress update on Baby Girl: at seven months and some change, she can sit up on her own, roll around, do a baby push-up, and sort of wiggle around if she wants to move a foot or so away. She clearly wants to crawl, and keeps trying to do this little froggy kick with her legs while she’s in push-up mode. Little did I know that, even without executing a proper crawl, the girl can really move it. She could have picked a better way to show me, though. Oh, how I wish she had.

On Saturday I put her down on her little play mat so that I could get some housework done. I did the dishes; she was laying on her mat and kicking up her heels. I cleared off the kitchen table; she was laying on her side and gurgling at her stuffed poodle. I started sweeping the floor, but had to stop and run for the ringing phone in the next room; no sweat, she was still on her mat, waving her fingers around in front of her face.

Less than two minutes later, I came back into the living room and Gentle Readers, I just about died. Baby Girl had somehow managed to creep, wriggle and roll almost six feet away from her mat in that short amount of time. And there she was, happily playing in a huge pile of swept-up dust bunnies and other assorted funk that was destined for the dust pan. As I stood there in that one endless, horrified moment of discovery, she lifted one drooly, dog hair-covered fist and put it in her mouth.

I tried so hard not to scream. I almost succeeded. Baby Girl got a thorough and immediate bath, but it appears to have been a fruitless effort because she now has a mild cold. Splendid.

You know, the longer I write this blog, the more I wonder why CPS hasn’t contacted me yet for a friendly chat.