My $12,000 toaster
Posted by Heather on May 22, 2008
I swear, Mom, it just followed me home! But it’s so cute, and it’ll pay for itself, and, and…well, just look at it:
Isn’t it cute? It is totally cute. Especially the gas gauge. That is far and away the cutest part of the whole thing.
So, yeah, we bought a new car? SUV? wagon? vehicle on Tuesday. Our homely old 97 Jeep Cherokee wasn’t getting any younger, and it guzzles gas like a barfly swilling PBR. The only reason we kept it so long is that it’s paid for (no small thing), and it has the storage capacity to haul my husband’s drums. Finding a vehicle that’s gas efficient, fairly inexpensive, and able to haul Slingerlands was a pipe dream until a few weeks ago when I read up on Scion xB’s. Imagine my elation when I read that they get 30-35 mpg, have tons of storage space, and are not too expensive (for a newish car).
Some people are not so keen on the way they look—and let’s be honest, it looks like the love child of a Volvo and a Borg cube—but I don’t mind so much because I’m too busy nuzzling the gas gauge. My husband, on the other hand, loves the way it looks. When he first saw it, he was jumping around it and hooting like one of those chimps in 2001: A Space Odyssey when they first encounter the Very Unsettling Monolith.
Because they get such good gas mileage, they’re selling like crazy right now, but I was able to get a really good deal on mine. And I didn’t just get a good deal on any ordinary Scion, oh no (inserting tongue into cheek now). The dealership decided to spruce up the Toaster before putting it out on the lot, so it’s all tricked out with fancy racing headlights and other such frippery. Actually, the only reason I know that is because a guy in my husband’s band patiently pointed out to us the plethora of after-market goodies that has apparently been invested in the Toaster. One thing I did notice, though, and this cracks me up to no end: I got rims, yo. Big, ginormous aluminum rims. With scorpions on them.
Ph33r:
I will totally be the baddest mommy at the soccer field. *snort*
P.S. For you Battlestar Galactica fans, please know that owning a Scion xB is a BSG joke waiting to happen. We call it The Toaster because of its obvious resemblance to said appliance, but “toaster” is also the derogatory name used by humans to describe the bad guy robot Cylons in BSG. Also, the Sprog couldn’t pronounce “Scion” at first, so he kept calling it “Cylon” all day. Awesome.
mrsgreenhands said
Go forth and save the galaxy – one gas tank at a time!
Gail said
I recently purchased a Toyota Prius, which has been called a spaceship by many people. Well, I am getting anywhere between 44 and 48 mpg every time I fill up. And, it is big enough to haul my kayak(on the roof), my bikes (on a hitch rack on the back), luggage and stuff for two people, and my black lab. It is the best thing I’ve ever bought and think that those of us with “odd” looking vehicles that get great gas mileage need to form a club. We rock!
cinnamondgirl said
I believe you can actually get a bumper sticker that says “you have just been passed by a toaster”. I’m sure a google search will yield this.
Heather said
Go Gail! Our other car is a Prius and we love it dearly, but there’s no way we could afford two of them. Plus, as I said, the drum hauling is an issue. But the Prius does pretty well for our little family.
In fact, the husband and I are going to Washington DC on vacation next week, and instead of paying out the nose for plane tickets (with cramped seats, flight delays, and a layover in Milwaukee or somewhere equally random), we’re just going to drive the Prius. It’s a 400-mile trip, so we can get there on one tank of gas with a little left over. Not too shabby!
Dariush said
I like Pabst Blue Ribbon. Find another cheap beer to pick on.
Jan said
Wow! You own a Cylon? I hope it’s one of the Centurions and not those creepy ones that look like us. Now, if you can just program it to do the laundry…
Stephanie C. said
“Cylon!” That’s too funny. Hopefully your smokin’ new whip won’t go all sentient on our butts and decide it’s time to destroy the human race, yo.
Rebekah said
I want my very own Cylon too! ;)
Lesley said
Ohh I’ve been looking for an xB (well kind of/sort of while I’m looking for a car in general lol). Gotta love the toasters!
K. C. said
I had an XB and I LOVED it. I wish we still had it, actually. :(
Heather said
Dariush, you’ll have to convince me that PBR is good stuff. And by “convince”, I mean “you’re buying” next time you’re in town. ;)