Surfing the internet: horror and delight

Surfing around on the internet yesterday, I found two things of interest:

1) It seems that you can now buy fake lower back tattoos for young girls out of a vending machine at Toys R Us. For serious. I am sitting here trying to imagine what kind of parent would fork over that 50 cents and say, “Sure, pumpkin! Want a Red Bull and vodka while you’re at it?”

But then, I was raised very conservatively as a kid. As in, I was never allowed to own Garbage Pail Kids cards, purchase candy cigarettes, or say “cooties” (my mother showed me a full-color medical textbook illustration of said cootie and told me to get my science straight). So maybe I’m out of date on these things. I mean, look, do what you want with your skin if you’re an adult, but I’m not quite sure this is the right look for an 8-year-old. Is this really that heinous, or am I just old-fashioned?

2) The Sprog and I are huge fans of Robert Sabuda and Matthew Reinhart pop-up books (we have the dinosaur one, the medieval castle one, the Noah’s Ark one, and The Wizard of Oz), but here’s a nifty alphabet pop-up book that has stolen my affection:

WANT. Of course, it doesn’t come out until October. But I know a certain Sprog who might be getting Star Wars: A Pop-Up Guide to the Galaxy for his birthday next month.

How to peel 50 boiled eggs a minute (and other useful tricks)

I was supposed to get my Christmas tree decorated last night after the kids went to sleep. Instead, I was pulled into the sucking black hole that is Instructables. It is, no kidding, at least as addictive as Parent Hacks, if that tells you something.

Want to peel 50 boiled eggs in under a minute? This site shows you how.

Need to keep an eye on things from afar? Make a remote controlled camera from a cellphone.

Tie a necktie with a perfect Windsor knot in under 10 seconds? Watch the master and learn.

And Guinever, this one’s for you: excellent instructions on how to make a 3-D Dinosaur birthday cake. ;)

I should probably make some kind of snappy one-liner to close up this entry, but I’m pretty sure you all have been sucked into the fathomless vortex of Instructables by now and won’t surface any time soon. Oh yes. I know its insidious pull.

Getting the lead out

You know, there’s nothing in the world that brings out my inner curmudgeon like the sight of Christmas decorations the day after Halloween. Or the warm glow in my son’s eyes that can only be described as rampant, unfettered greed.

I really, really don’t want to talk about Christmas yet. It’s just too soon, but the rest of the world seems to be ignoring me, so I guess I’d better get a move on. And realistically, those of us with tight budgets have to spread out the shopping, so it’s probably time to start thinking about that sort of thing anyway.

The big topic among parents this year is, of course, toy safety. Chinese toy factories are spitting out lead faster than an AK-47, and the acting head of the Consumer Product Safety Commission opposed the bill that would give her agency some real muscle. Instead, she favored voluntary self-regulation by the toy manufacturers, even in the face of evidence that such self-policing is wildly ineffective. Why, it’s almost as though she were somehow biased in favor of the toy manufacturers. Oh, wait.

So we can’t trust the toy manufacturers to effectively police their foreign factories, and the CPSC currently has only one toy tester, so we can’t trust them to keep the dangerous stuff off the shelves, either.

But…what to do? You can be the nerdy aunt (like me) who buys books for all the kids, or you can get them all gift cards or cash. Or—my favorite idea—you can give your business to manufacturers that pledge to produce quality toys (which are preferably made in America).

After doing some digging around online, I’ve found plenty of sites that sell such toys, and some of them have pretty cool stuff. I won’t lie, some of them are a little more expensive…but you get what you pay for, don’t you? I bet Aqua Dots are going pretty cheap right at the moment. And honestly, I’d rather spend my Christmas shopping money on one quality toy than on four cheapo toys that will poison my kids or break, and that’s only if they don’t lose interest by February.

Beyond that, our kids do not need all the trendy cheapo toys. Every kid I know has cartloads of loot, most of which they barely play with. The Sprog alone has four Rubbermaid tubs full of toys, plus a few Fisher-Price play sets and a train table. And do you know what he really loves to play with? Toilet paper tubes and my cookware. Dress-up clothes. And his Fisher-Price castle—he got that for Christmas last year, and he still plays with it every day. Let’s just hope it’s not chock full of lead paint, yes?

Anyhow, there are a few places in Lexington where you can buy toys that are a bit more reputable and won’t break the bank. Children’s Orchard on Richmond Road has a limited selection of non-toxic, Made in America toys, including paints, wooden puzzles, and other classic toys. Mother Nurture sells hand-made baby toys made with organic cotton (I keep meaning to buy the froggie for Baby Girl). And there are several big name toy manufacturers that are committed to making high-quality products, which you can find at most any large toy store (see below).

So here’s a handy list of links to help you in your quest for safer toys. Most of this stuff is made in America or Europe, and all the sites linked have pledged to conform to stringent safety standards. And please note that I’m not personally guaranteeing their safety; this is going off of the manufacturers’ claims about their toys and independent certifications. You should always, always follow up on this stuff. Also, I only included sites that have toys that are actually attractive, fun to play with and won’t break the bank. Now get clicking!

Of general interest:

The US Consumer Product Safety Commission toy recall list

Sign up for automatic e-mail notification from the CPSC whenever there’s a recall

Consumer Reports

The Consumerist: Shoppers Bite Back

Websites for toys:

Hyena Cart

Turner Toys

Hearthsong

Etsy (millions of cool, hand-made items)

Corolle

Oliebollen

IKEA

Moolka

Roy Toy (aka Lincoln Logs)

K’NEX

Step 2

Zome

Back to Basics Toys

Playmobil

Oompa

Maukilo

Melissa and Doug toys (at Toys R Us)

Kidkraft

Bright October

Made by Yankees

There but for the grace of God go I

First, a heads up: Blogging here at the Mother Tongue has been a bit scarce for the last week or so, and it’ll continue to be so for the next few weeks while I work on my bit of a project for the arts department. My most sincere apologies, and believe me when I say I’d far rather spend my time lampooning my own parenting skills on this blog than working up an endless (but highly useful) music calendar. But, eh. C’est la vie.

In the meantime, why don’t you all just talk amongst yourselves about parenting in the news til we’re back up to 100% here?

Today’s discussion topic: What’s a fit punishment for parents who leave their kids to die in a hot car?

My thoughts: I’ve known several people whose children have died in terrible accidents, including one who spaced out and left a child in a hot car. I acknowledge that sometimes these accidents happen because the parent was under the influence of drink or drugs, or was ignorant as to how hot a car can get in the sun. But I’d be willing to bet that most parents who find themselves in this terrible situation are just normal folks who were perhaps tired, stressed, in a hurry, and out of their regular routine—as we all are, from time to time.

Losing your beloved child because you were distracted on a bad morning is punishment enough, isn’t it? Will a prison sentence honestly do anyone any good? I mean, we’re not talking about cold-blooded cop killers with a high recidivism rate. But you wouldn’t know that, judging from some of the comments on CNN’s “Sound Off” section just below the story. I see a lot of people there falling all over themselves to assert their superior parenting skills, saying that parents who find themselves in this horrible situation are negligent monsters who don’t really love their children.

Except, that’s total garbage. Yes, children are sometimes left to die in cars by negligent babysitters or ignorant and/or drug-abusing parents. But in the vast majority of cases, the parent responsible for the death is a normal person having a worse than normal morning. Could have been you or me. Let’s hope we never have to find out, and that if we do that the Internet Tough Guys will show a little more mercy.

Discuss: What do you think is an appropriate punishment, if any, for a parent who left his/her child to die in a hot car? And why do you think mothers get punished for this with jail time far more often than fathers? Isn’t that kind of insulting to men, in a way, like we’re holding mothers to a higher standard of parenting than fathers?

Parent hacks

I’ve recently stumbled across the fabulous Parent Hacks website, and what kind of person would I be if I didn’t share the link? A selfish person, that’s who. One who probably doesn’t share the remote control, either (I plead the Fifth).

Parent Hacks is full of all the trial-and-error tactics that other parents have stumbled upon, along with links to promising entries on other blogs, like 25 Uses for Ziploc Bags or How to Make Homemade “Baby Legs” (those little leg warmer things for toddlers).

Warning: this site is a sucking black hole of a time-killer. But it’s worth every second to find tips like this one on how to get your diaper pail to actually smell pretty good. Which is an excellent and timely tip, considering that the Diaper Champ funk makes my son’s closet smell like someone crawled in there and died.

Anyhow, enjoy Parent Hacks, and speak up if you have your own awesome parenting tip!

Geeks in love

No huge post today, since I’m too beat from this weekend (husband’s graduation, new “big boy” furniture and decor installed in the Sprog’s room). But I came across something that I just had to share with you.

First, a preface: I am a known nerd — I just am, and there’s no getting around it. I play Munchkin. I watch Battlestar Galactica religiously. I qualified for Jeopardy twice in the last three years (cross your fingers that they call me to go on the show, please oh please).

But I never, ever, in my wildest dreams, could have dreamed up anything as awesomely geeky as this wedding cake. Because who among us hasn’t spent at least a couple good hours putting the smack-down on some Goombas?

Just about makes me want to get married all over again just so I could have that much fun with my wedding cake. Knowing my husband, he’d likely insist on one of the other three cakes featured on Geek Sugar. Especially the Star Wars one with Kit Fisto on the topper and what’s-her-name with the stripey head tentacles.

For the ultimate nerd cred, though, here’s one featuring a family of Linux penguins. Or, alternately, the giant turtle Discworld cake. When you’re a geek in love, the possibilities are endless.

Poll:

If you went to a wedding and saw the Mario cake, your first thought would be:

a) How fun! They’re celebrating their love and staying true to themselves.
b) Well, whatever floats your boat, I guess. But that’s kind of weird.
c) I have never seen anything so sad in all my life.
d) What a shame they left out the cool castle level with the fireballs. That would have been so awesome.